Assalmualaikum and a very good morning.
Exam is finished just 12 hours ago. and i dont to talk about it any-for now. today i would share my experiences about love. well love is a very subjective thing that can give thousands of meaning. to me, i as normal person, i always in love with someone, each time in my daily live.
for the truth, i can deny love better than express it. i,m not the one that cant live without love, but i do need it, in some spaces of my life. since i was in kindergarden, i already had felt in love. well its not about love actually, its more about 'like' rather than love.
for real, i never express my feelings about love to any girl without they expressed it to me first. i am a shy person..and i don't really like to be blushing all the day in front of someone i like/love. haha, its crazy but somehow its really sweet. to me, friendship is more important than 'unjustified'love. i,m afraid if i express my feelings first, i would cross the border of 'friendship' to obtain an unsure 'relationship'. i don't want to take the risk. so i would feel fine to remain in the bond of friendship.
how i express my love? well i don't really express my feelings to the person that i love. but i will do/try as my best to do the best for them. i don't want to make they sad and cry, whenever i was around.
Again, since i was in primary school till i,m 17 years old, i,m really blurred about love. what i mean is i don't know how to 'deal' with my feelings or others in love context. i thought that nobody will ever like/love me.. i thought i have no luck with love. so i just be friendly with my friends. somehow, right now... i just know that before this... so many girl that have come to my life to embrace the love.. but i,m not too mature to share about it. i have close friends with several girls..and i thought 'close friends' can never be 'girlfriends', so i never thought some of them would actually have a feelings to me. i,m too stupid. aren't me? woman have very soft heart. whenever some gentle man touch their heart. they can easily fall in love. but some woman have a very strong container, that prevent them to express the feelings without the any cues/actions from the gentleman. i think i my really problem is, i have the touch of gentleman, but i a have heart of a woman.
life, as life goes... i learnt many things. every single things happened made who i am today. i will not hate anyone.. any who that has enter in my life. i have fell in love many times... i,m happy to feel that~ to all who actually do like me before, thank you very much. i,m sorry i cant react well to you, but i do like each of u very much.
i really don't know why some woman/girl really like/love me so much. but i,m glad, i have a meaning in their life. my past will always come along with my present and i will not deny it. thank you Allah for the great experience of love in my life. its beautiful. its wonderful.
last but not least, yeah right now, i,m in love with someone that i wont share. my love is not my word, but my heart.
' how can i forget all that,
when you're the one who make me smile
you'll always be part of me '
~when you love someone, you will do the very best for them. so good luck. ~ ,)
